Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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