Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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