How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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