Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I accidentally had phone sex last night
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
