You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
