I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
