Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
