I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I've blown a few things in my day
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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