the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
