Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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