talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
