erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
