Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm too high and old for this...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
