So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
