When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
