There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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