mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
