This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
