He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize