I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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