it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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