You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
