he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
