Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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