Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
