Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
