the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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