i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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