So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize