operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
