theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
