I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
