OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
