Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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