what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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