My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
