how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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