you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm drunk and he's still weird.