I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
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he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.