There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.