one two three fourrrrnication!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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