bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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