You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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