my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
