hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
