He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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