This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
