gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
