as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
