I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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