She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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