i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
