tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
so much tequila, so little girl.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
