Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
