this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize