literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
