I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
