So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
