Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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